Collection of Weird and Bizarre Tombstone Epitaphs Part 1
A collection of weird, bizarre and humorous tombstone epitaphs from all over the world.
REST IN PEACE
A Collection of Bizarre Gravestone Epitaphs
Epitaph from Kilmurry Churchyard, Ireland:
This stone was raised to Sarah Ford,
Not Sarah's virtues to record--
For they're well known to all the town--
No Lord; it was raised to keep her down.
From Westminster Abbey, on John Gay, the poet, said to have been written by himself:
Life is a jest, and all things show it;
I thought so once and now I know it.
From Streatham Churchyard, England:
Here lies Elizabeth, my wife for 47 years, and this is the first damn thing she ever done to oblige me.
From Death Valley, Calif.:
Here lies the body of
Fat May Preston
Who's now moved to heaven
To relieve the congestion.
Epitaph on a politician from Dayton, O.:
Here, reader, turn your weeping eyes,
My fate a useful moral teaches;
The hole in which my body lies
Would not contain one-half my speeches.
Epitaph on center one of three tombstones in a family burial plot in Niagara Falls, Ontario, Canada:
Here I lie between two of the best women in the world; my wives. But I have requested my relatives to tip me a little toward Tillie.
Epitaph written by the wife of Abe Bell, maker of fireworks in Boston, Mass.:
He has gone to the only place where his own works are excelled.
In a Falkirk, England, cemetery:
At rest beneath this slab of stone
Lies stingy Jimmy Wyatt;
He died one morning just at ten,
And saved a dinner by it.
On Ezekiel Pease in Nantucket, Mass.:
He is not here
But only his pod:
He shelled out his peas
And went to his God.
On an old maid who died in the early part of the 19th century in Shrewsbury, Shropshire, England:
Here lies the body of Martha Dias,
Who was always uneasy, and not over pious;
She lived to the age of three score and ten,
And gave that to the worms she refused to the men.
The spinster postmistress of a small town in North Carolina has this epitaph on her gravestone:
In a small cemetery near Albany, N.Y.:
Harry Edsel Smith
Born 1903--Died 1942
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was.
A simple epitaph on a simple man in Tennessee:
He was a simple man who died of complications.
Epitaph on Ellen Shannon, age 25, in Girard, Pa.:
Who was fatally burned
March 21, 1870
by the explosion of a lamp
filled with "R.E. Danforth's
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