Collection of Weird and Bizarre Tombstone Epitaphs Part 3
A collection of weird, bizarre and humorous tombstone epitaphs from all over the world.
REST IN PEACE
A Collection of Bizarre Gravestone Epitaphs
Lorenzo Sabine's one-word epitaph in Eastport, Me.:
Railroad conductor Charles B. Gunn's epitaph in Colorado Springs, Colo.:
Papa--Did you wind your watch?
On Philip Sydney Bennet, who overheard his son-in-law call him "the old nuisance" and ordered this put on his gravestone in East Calais, Vt.:
The Old Nuisance
In a Moultrie, Ga., cemetery:
Here lies the father of twenty-nine.
He would have had more but he didn't have time.
Epitaph in Enosburg Falls, Vt.:
In memory of
Here lies the body of our Anna
Done to death by a banana
It wasn't the fruit that laid her low
But the skin of the thing that made her go.
From Fawley Churchyard, N.H.:
Stop, reader, pray and read my fate
What caused my life to terminate
For thieves by night when in my bed
Broke in my house and shot me dead.
From Burlington, Mass.:
Here lies the body of Susan Lowder
Who burst while drinking Seidlitz powder;
Called from this world to her heavenly rest
She should have waited till it effervesced.
On Mrs. Althea White, weight 309 lb., from Lee, Mass.:
Open, open wide ye golden gates
That lead to the heavenly shore,
Our father suffered in passing through
And mother weighs much more.
On Jonathan Fiddle from Hartscombe, England:
On the 22nd of June
Went out of tune
On a hanged sheep-stealer from Bletchley, Bucks, England:
Here lies the body of Thomas Kemp
Who lived by wool and died by hemp
From Burlington, Middlesex, Mass.:
Beneath this stone
Our baby lies
He neither cries nor hollars;
He lived on Earth just twenty days
And cost us forty dollars.
On William Wilson in Lambeth, London, England:
Here Lieth W. W.
Who never more will
Trouble you, trouble you.
Epitaph from Battersea, London, England:
Than he could pay.
Epitaph on a stone raised to four wives, their ashes in four urns that had been overturned in a gale. Kent, England:
And shed a tear:
For Mary Jane
Lies Buried Here
Mingled in a most
With Susan, Joy
And portions of Hanna
On a music teacher from Cornwall, England:
Stephen and time
Are now both even:
Stephen beat time
Now time's beat Stephen.
Epitaph from West Grinstead, Sussex, England, on a coroner who hanged himself:
On a dentist from Edinburgh, Scotland:
This ground with gravity:
Dentist Brown is filling
His last cavity.
A Texas undertaker carved the following on the bottom of all his monuments:
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
We bury only the upper crust.
McConnel Funeral Home
This London banker wrote his own epitaph:
(Cashier of the Bank of England)
Beneath this stone old Abraham lies;
Nobody laughs, and nobody cries.
Where he has gone, and how he fares,
Nobody knows and nobody cares.
Epitaph in Chattanooga, Tenn.:
I came into this world
Without my consent
And left in the same manner.
From St. Stephen Churchyard, West Putford, England:
Here lies the landlord Tommy Dent
In his last cosy tenement.
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