Self-Help Advice Books A Guide to Rational Living Part 2
About the self-help book A Guide to Rational Living by Albert Ellis, history and advice from the book.
HELP YOURSELF TO THE BEST SELF-HELP
A GUIDE TO RATIONAL LIVING (1961)
Help-Yourself Advice: To get over the 10 irrational ideas presented (examples: People need constant love and approval, and "Maximum human happiness can be achieved by inertia and inaction or by passively and uncommittedly enjoying oneself."), try the following, remembering that self-therapy is no replacement for professional help.
1. Get vitally involved with something outside yourself. Pursue it for enjoyment, not false ego-gratification. Creative striving is important, however. Choose challenging, long-range activities.
2. Replace self-defeating sentences with more rational ones. For example, replace "I have done a bad thing. What a bad person I am," with "I have done a bad thing. What can I do to correct it?" or "Would it be so terrible if . . .?" Talk to yourself. Propagandize yourself . . . and keep at it.
3. When trying to change yourself, you may sometimes have to force yourself into new paths. Expect inertia. Make yourself do what it is necessary for you to do.
4. "Focus on loving, rather than being loved."
5. Realize that love does not equal personal worth, achievement does not equal being.
6. Take risks, commit yourself, don't be afraid to make mistakes.
7. Develop your own standards of behavior instead of blindly following those that society dictates.
8. Remember, you determine how much circumstances will adversely affect you by the way you define them.
9. If you can't change something, accept it. Remember that life normally holds frustrations.
10. If you are in physical pain, practice "sensation-neglect" or distract yourself with something else.
11. If verbally attacked, question the motives of your attackers and the truth of what they say. If what they say about you is true, you might consider change.
12. "Turn past disadvantages to present and future benefit."
13. Be realistic about the chances of a calamity occurring and its effect on you. Also, assess the true importance of things.
14. Accept reasonable solutions to problems, without closing the door to better ones in the future.
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